“Brad Hong is a college freshman from Morristown, N.J. His email is [email protected].” –Brad Hong, The Daily Pennsylvanian, September 26, 2016.
The Nine Circles of Writing Hell
“With apologies to Dante Alighieri…
“We have all probably started ill-fated novels that, shall we say, did not go where we wanted them to go. For one reason or another, either our will or our preparation or the idea failed us, and sure enough, they ended up in novel hell.
“Based on the Nine Circles of Hell in Dante’s Divine Comedy, here are the nine circles of writing hell.
“Save your novel from these sins, my fellow writers! Repent before it is too late!” [. . .] –Nathan Bransford, on his blog, November 23, 2010
Ukable Parodies’ Inferno Songs
“A TRIP DOWN THE ACHERON RIVIERA
(to the tune of ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’)
Intro:
Accounts linger on from Old Testament on down
Of the fiery pit Jews call Gehenna.
You probably knew that our Dante passed through,
And the year Thirteen Hundred was when-a.
“Giustizia mosse il mio alto fattore
Facemi la divina Podestate
Per me si va ne l’etterno dolore
Lasciat’ ogne speranza, voi ch’intrate.”
The tour started badly, we recount to you sadly,
With a big screen predicting the weather,
“At this Rehab-resort, no rainstorms to report –
And you’ll surely be roasted for ever.”
Dante:
Queste parole di colore oscuro
Vid’io scritte al sommo d’una porta.
Per ch’io: “Maestro il senso lor m’e duro.”
Elli: “Qui ogne viltà sia morta.”
The ‘agreement’ on monitor, in font and hue somber
Conflicted with my inner wish-list.
“This Hotel,” it is said, “never gives up her dead.”
Virge explained, “Here all fear is extinguished.”
[…] –Giorgio Coniglio, Silly Songs and Satire, September 3, 2015.
The 9 Circles of Vacation Hell
“In theory, everyone likes a nice vacation. In practice, everyone who’s ever had one knows that for every moment of peace and relaxation, you’ll have to fight through mounds of stress, panic-sweat, and unexpected costs. What we’re saying is, vacations are hell. Quite literally, too: There are shocking similarities between the most famous description of biblical Hell — The Inferno section of Dante Alighieri’s Divine Comedy — and the overpriced trip you fooled yourself into taking last summer.
“Come, friend, allow us to act as Virgil to your jet-lagged Dante, as we delve deeper and deeper into vacation-themed terrors” [. . .] –Pauli Poisuo and Winston Rowntree, Cracked, September 13, 2016
Adam Ellis’s “Levels of Hell” Meme
“Levels Of Hell is a series of exploitable images listing the nine levels of hell, as described in Dante’s Inferno, adding a mock 10th level for humorous effect.
“On October 6th, 2015, artist Adam Ellis posted an image on Facebook of Dante’s ‘9 Circles of Hell,’ as described in his “Dante’s Inferno,” the first part of The Divine Comedy. However, Ellis added a 10th level, ‘People who steal artwork and add their own watermark to it.'” [. . .] –Matt Schimkowitz, Know Your Meme, July 2018
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