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Citings & Sightings of Dante's Works in Contemporary Culture

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The Tenth Circle: College Applications

January 9, 2019 By Professor Elizabeth Coggeshall

“Not even one quarter through my life, I lost my way in a dark bedroom. The only illumination was the pale glow of the Common App website. This is a godless place. I switched from the Common App to Netflix and sulked.

“Distressed and lonely, I cried out, ‘SCREW COLLEGE! SOMEBODY HELP ME!’ and at that moment, a shade appeared in the doorway.

“’O hey dood,’ said the great poet Marsalis Adriano. He still wore his backpack and his face sported a smarmy grin that was still somewhat inviting. Perhaps it was just the light from my monitor playing off his mochaccino skin, but I felt I could trust him.

“’Hey wanna go to hell dood? It’s right down there,’ he pointed towards the door, ‘might be cool to put on your college app.’

“As I had nothing better to do, I decided to oblige the great mystic in my bedroom, after all, Netflix only distracted me for so long.

“He led me out the door to a platform where, just beyond the edge, was a great black chasm. The jagged edges of the chasm were decorated with graduation caps with the tassels torn off and old forgotten football helmets of formerly glorious players. Marsalis looked to me and shrugged a quick shrug, pursed his lips, and raised his eyebrows skyward. He motioned me to the edge of the platform, where a seemingly endless flight of stairs led into the pit.” [. . .]    -Cole Murphy’s writing, posted by Elliot Quartz, The Current, January 21, 2015.

Continue reading Cole’s perilous journey applying to colleges at The Current, Malibu High School’s Student Newspaper.

You can read more posts by Elliot Quartz here.

Categories: Written Word
Tagged with: 2015, Colleges, Hell, High School, Humor, Malibu, Student Life, Tenth Circle, Universities

The Tenth Circle: Unique Selling Propositions

January 4, 2019 By Professor Elizabeth Coggeshall

“Developing a unique selling proposition (USP) can be one of the most difficult brand messaging challenges you’ll ever tackle. In fact, it can be downright hellish.

That’s because your USP needs to accomplish an enormous task with incredible economy: it has to clearly articulate why buyers should choose your product or service over every other option they have—and it has to do so in the fewest words possible. Writing a USP is so difficult, in fact, that American companies are largely ambivalent about their USPs. They rate their confidence in the strength of their own USPs just 6.2 out of 10, on average, according to research from B2B International.

This raises an interesting question: If companies are generally lukewarm about their USPs, should you even go to the trouble of creating one for your company?” [. . .]    –Michael Civiello, LinkedIn, December 1, 2015.

To read more about USPs and Hell, check out Civiello’s full article on LinkedIn.

Categories: Written Word
Tagged with: 2015, Business, Marketing, Tenth Circle

Satan To Add East Ave Wegmans Parking Lot As Tenth Circle Of Hell

January 4, 2019 By Professor Elizabeth Coggeshall

“Rochester, NY– Limbo, Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Anger, Heresy, Violence, Fraud, Treachery. These are the nine circles of hell, but today is a big day. Satan has just announced that this year they are set to add the east avenue Wegmans parking lot as a much awaited tenth circle of hell. We spoke with the leader of hellfire himself to see how excited he is for this new addition.

“’You know, the minute I drove into the east avenue Wegmans parking lot, I knew it was a match made in hell. Seriously, it has to be one of the most disorganized, chaotic messes I’ve ever seen or had to be apart of! This is coming from a guy who single-handedly created the bubonic plague! I mean I love Wegmans, don’t get me wrong, but were they trying to create a new circle of hell for me? It feels like it, you know I thought the circle of gluttony and lust was a pretty raw deal, but I can’t wait to see the face on some of the newcomers when they realize they’re stuck in a never-ending bumper to bumper of the Wegmans parking lot. Very excited for this new addition and I can’t wait to hear some of the feedback from the regulars’” [. . .]    —The Inner Loop, February 13, 2017.

Categories: Written Word
Tagged with: 2017, Humor, New York, Rochester, Satan, Tenth Circle

“Just another day in Brexitland hell”

December 31, 2018 By Professor Elizabeth Coggeshall

Covering the failed attempt to topple British PM Theresa May in a no-confidence vote on Dec. 12, 2018, John Crace compared the chaos over May’s Brexit deal to Dante’s hell. In the digital edition of the paper, the photo of the prime minister (below) was captioned: “Just another day in Brexitland hell for Theresa May.”

Theresa-May-Brexit-Hell-Tenth-Circle

At the end of the piece, Crace comments, “The reality was that nothing had changed. Nothing had changed. May’s Brexit deal was no more likely to get through the Commons than it had been before the vote. If anything positions had hardened. The EU would not be coming to her rescue. All the future offered was more deadlock, more division. Dante was wrong. There was a tenth circle of hell and we were in it. Government as mindless light entertainment.” — John Crace, “Tory headbangers save the Maybot – for the time being at least,” The Guardian, Dec. 12, 2018

Contributed by Nick Havely

Categories: Written Word
Tagged with: 2018, Brexit, England, Hell, Journalism, Political Leaders, Politics, Tenth Circle, Theresa May

The Tenth Circle: IKEA

December 7, 2018 By Professor Elizabeth Coggeshall

“In a rare and revealing interview with the Ulster Fry, the Devil has admitted that he has created a Tenth Circle of Hell – in the form of a Bank Holiday shopping trip to IKEA.

“The former Argos delivery driver told us that he’d been attempting some home improvements at his bachelor pad in the Ninth Circle district, when he stumbled upon the new form of torture. ‘I was doing up the bedroom when it occurred to me that I could do with some storage for my CD collection,’ he said, ‘so I thought I’d pop down to IKEA and pick something up. Say what you like about IKEA, but they do have an impressive range of storage solutions.’

“’When I got there, I ended up wandering around aimlessly for hours, and instead of just getting some CD shelving I soon found that I had a trolley full of shite I never wanted in the first place. That’s when it hit me – I could build an extension onto Hell where the truly evil could be condemned to an eternity looking for a non-existent item in IKEA on a Bank Holiday.’

“’As soon as I got home I put my evil minions to work, although it took ages as it came in a flat pack from Sweden and we lost the wee hexagonal yoke you need to put it together.’” [. . .]    —The Ulster Fry, August 31, 2015.

Read the full post and check out more from The Ulster Fry on their website.

Categories: Written Word
Tagged with: 2015, Circles of Hell, Humor, Satan, Tenth Circle, The Devil

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Coggeshall, Elizabeth, and Arielle Saiber, eds. Dante Today: Citings and Sightings of Dante’s Works in Contemporary Culture. Website. Access date.

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