“You already have your summer getaway planned, but what about your permanent vacation? Given your options, Hell may be less temperate, but its hidden perks make it well worth the trip.” [. . .] –Michael Rottman, The Morning News, June 27, 2006
“Dante, Virgil To Tour L.A.”
Found at The Onion, June 10, 1998
“Report: 92 Percent Of Souls In Hell There On Drug Charges”
“HELL. A report released Monday by the Afterlife Civil Liberties Union indicates that nine out of 10 souls currently serving in Hell were condemned on drug-related sins. ‘Hell was created to keep dangerous sinners off the gold-paved streets of Heaven,’ ACLU spokesman Barry Horowitz said. ‘But lately, it’s become a clearing-house for the non-evil souls that Heaven doesn’t know how to deal with.'” —The Onion, October 12, 2005
“Tenth Circle Added to Rapidly Growing Hell”
“CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL. After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday. The Blockbuster Video-sponsored circle, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years.” —The Onion, September 23, 1998
Contributed by Ted Reinert (Bowdoin, ’05)
“The Close Reader: Let the Punishment Fit the Crime”
“If sheer cultural influence is the measure of greatness, though, Dante Alighieri should probably rank higher than Shakespeare, since Dante dreamed up something that, sadly, has had even more impact than depth psychology. He invented the infernal. Dante’s ‘Inferno’ gave us our first glimpse of a universe we once again inhabit: a topography of graphic, gruesome suffering. The Dante scholar John Freccero might have been talking about Kosovo or Rwanda or any other post-genocidal landscape when he wrote, ‘The ruined portals and fallen bridges of Hell are emblems of the failure of all bonds among the souls who might once have been members of the human community.'” [. . .] –Judith Shulevitz, The New York Times, March 9, 2003
